Development around 21 months
Your toddler is moving toward the CDC’s 2-year milestones: running, kicking a ball, climbing a few stairs, putting two words together such as “more milk”, and noticing when someone else is upset. Imagination and understanding are expanding quickly, and that can bring fresh worries at bedtime.
According to the AAP, separation anxiety generally fades over the second half of the second year and around the second birthday, so many families notice it easing about now.
| Nap strike or real readiness | What the research says |
|---|---|
| Children who give up napping before age 2 | Fewer than 2.5% (Staton 2020) |
| Average number of naps a day, 1 to 2 years | 1.2 (Galland 2012) |
| Average nap length, 1 to 2 years | Roughly 2.3 hours in children who still nap (Staton 2020) |
| Children no longer napping by age 3 | Roughly one in three (Staton 2020) |
In other words, a 21 month old who refuses the nap has almost certainly not outgrown it.
At this age, nap strikes, stalling and early mornings tend to arrive together, and tackling one by itself often makes another worse. Actually Sleeping looks at your toddler’s full day and night, and Dr. Sam writes a single plan to cover it, with daily 1:1 check-ins.
What normal nights look like
In studies of 1 to 2 year olds, children woke an average of 0.7 times a night, with up to about 2.5 still in the normal range, and the longest stretch averaged 8.3 hours across 6 to 24 months. Waking now and then at 21 months is ordinary. Waking several times every night is the sort of pattern Actually Sleeping helps families change.
The hardest parts for parents
- Refusing the nap for a week or two, which makes it tempting to drop a nap your child still needs.
- Stalling at bedtime. Just one more book, just one more drink.
- Waking early. Morning light, how long the nap runs and an early start to the day can each contribute.
- A new sibling or a move. Big changes frequently show up at bedtime first.
Keeping a 21 month old safe at night
- Stay in the crib for as long as it is safe. Move out at 35 inches (89 cm) tall, when the rail sits below about three-quarters of your child’s height, or as soon as your toddler can climb out (AAP, MedlinePlus).
- Above the first floor, fit operable window guards, and keep furniture your child could climb away from windows (AAP).
- Secure dressers and bookshelves to the wall.
Feeds overnight
Most toddlers at this age do not need milk during the night. Your custom plan sets how night feeds are handled, based on your baby’s age.
When to check in with the pediatrician
- Snoring on most nights, breathing through the mouth, or pauses in breathing.
- Sleepiness in the day, difficulty paying attention or behavior problems that could be connected to poor sleep. The AAP includes these among the signs of sleep apnea.
- Very few words, not combining any words as 2 gets closer, or losing skills your child once had.
- Night terrors that keep coming back.
Next steps
Every toddler has different reasons behind a nap strike, a drawn-out bedtime or a 5 a.m. wake-up. Actually Sleeping figures out what is behind yours and builds the plan around it, with bootcamp-style coaching before night one. We guarantee that your baby will sleep 8–12 hours through the night within 14 days of consistent, correct implementation of your sleep plan. Parents share their results in our 12 months and up reviews. See also: early morning waking, the 18-month to 2-year schedule, and false starts at bedtime. To begin, book a free consultation with Dr. Sam.
Ready to solve this for your baby?
Actually Sleeping offers 1:1 coaching: Dr. Sam writes a sleep plan for your baby, you get bootcamp-style coaching before the first night, and we check in daily until it works. 700+ families coached, 129 video reviews, and a written guarantee of 8–12 hours through the night within 14 days, or a full refund.
Common questions
My 21 month old won’t nap. Is the nap finished?
That is very unlikely. A systematic review found that fewer than 2.5% of children give up napping before age 2, and roughly one in three has stopped by age 3. A nap strike at 21 months usually signals that the day needs adjusting, and an Actually Sleeping plan does that for your child.
How many hours should a 21 month old sleep?
For children aged 1 to 2, the AASM recommends 11 to 14 hours per 24 hours, naps included, and the AAP backs this range. Total sleep counts for more than exactly how it is divided between nap and night.
Why is my toddler up so early?
Typical reasons include morning light, a bedtime that is too early or too late, and a nap that is too long or too early. Which applies varies from child to child, so Dr. Sam pins it down using your toddler’s real days and nights.
References
- Paruthi S, et al. Recommended Amount of Sleep for Pediatric Populations: A Consensus Statement of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine. J Clin Sleep Med. 2016;12(6):785–786.
- HealthyChildren.org (AAP). Healthy Sleep Habits: How Many Hours Does Your Child Need?
- CDC. Milestones by 2 Years.
- HealthyChildren.org (AAP). Separation Anxiety & Sleeping Trouble in Young Children.
- HealthyChildren.org (AAP). Emotional and Social Development: 8 to 12 Months.
- Staton S, et al. Many naps, one nap, none: A systematic review and meta-analysis of napping patterns in children 0–12 years. Sleep Med Rev. 2020;50:101247.
- Galland BC, Taylor BJ, Elder DE, Herbison P. Normal sleep patterns in infants and children: a systematic review of observational studies. Sleep Med Rev. 2012;16(3):213–222.
- HealthyChildren.org (AAP). Make Baby's Room Safe: Parent Checklist.
- MedlinePlus (U.S. National Library of Medicine). Crib safety tips.
- HealthyChildren.org (AAP). Big Kid Beds: When to Switch From a Crib.
- HealthyChildren.org (AAP). Safety for Your Child: 1 to 2 Years.
- HealthyChildren.org (AAP). Sleep Apnea in Children: Detection & Treatment.