What makes toddlers get up
- Getting up pays off. Each return that comes with a chat, a cuddle or a negotiation shows the toddler that getting up is worthwhile.
- Freedom arrives before self-control. A bed gives a young toddler the freedom to leave and very little ability to stop themselves. Many families who switched early discover the crib had been holding everything together.
- Mixed responses. Two parents responding two different ways, or a response that shifts after the tenth trip, gives a toddler every reason to keep testing.
- Genuine fears. Fear of the dark and of separation show up in the toddler years, and they are real. The way they are handled determines whether they fade or grow.
Most parents find Actually Sleeping after weeks of battles at bedtime. Dr. Sam writes a plan for your toddler that takes in their age, temperament, the bed or crib, siblings and your evening, and the team supports you each day while it beds in.
Crib or bed?
A crib quietly does a great deal. It provides a physical limit, so the only bedtime question is whether the child falls asleep, not whether they stay where they are. A bed takes that limit away and passes the decision to a toddler still learning to manage impulses. Families often make the switch because of a new sibling, a toddler who climbs, or a feeling that the time has come. Staying in the crib, going back to it, or making the bed work is a choice that hinges on the child, the reason for the move and safety, and a plan settles it early on.
Start with safety
A toddler who can get out of bed will sometimes be up on their own. Set the room up for that: furniture secured to the wall, outlets covered, cords out of reach, windows locked, nothing to climb on. Many families put a gate at the door. If your toddler climbs out of a crib, ask your pediatrician about the safest arrangement.
Why the usual fixes run out of steam
Most of what parents try makes sense. It stalls because toddlers are experts at finding the one thing that still works, and because tired parents respond differently at 9 p.m. A plan written for your child takes out the guesswork, and daily check-ins keep both parents giving the same response.
How Actually Sleeping helps toddlers stay in bed
You receive a custom plan, bootcamp-style coaching ahead of the first night, 1:1 check-ins every day and naps coached until they are solid, since a toddler who naps poorly resists bedtime harder. It is neither cry it out nor wait it out. In the over-12-months video reviews, families with toddlers explain how it went.
Book your free consultation and put an end to the bedtime back-and-forth.
Want your baby’s sleep sorted?
Actually Sleeping offers 1:1 coaching: Dr. Sam writes a sleep plan for your baby, you get bootcamp-style coaching ahead of the first night, and we check in daily until it works. We have coached 700+ families, collected 129 video reviews, and put our guarantee in writing: 8–12 hours through the night within 14 days, or a full refund.
Common questions
Is it okay to lock my toddler’s door?
Plenty of families put a gate at the door so the room becomes a safe, contained space. Whichever you choose, the room needs to be fully childproofed, since a toddler who can get out of bed will sometimes be up on their own.
How long until my toddler stays in bed?
That depends on the child, how long the habit has been going and how consistent the response is. With a plan written for your toddler and daily check-ins, Actually Sleeping keeps the response consistent while it takes hold.
Is my toddler’s fear of the dark real?
Yes. Fears commonly show up in the toddler years, and they are real. A calm, consistent response helps them fade. A custom plan from Actually Sleeping makes room for fears without letting them become a new habit.